Mmmmm, my words are so tasty

OK, so a while back I posted a little ditty about a girl named Joanie. She is in contention to be America's Next Top Model and I may or may not have posed the question: "is she really top model material? this is not a competition for America's Next Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Baby"--yeah, harsh I know, but based on this picture I had good reason, look at this shizz

Yeah, heinous, right--well as it turns out the producers had Joanie's teeth fixed but that's besides the point. Not only is she the sweetest girl on the whole show, possibly one of the sweetest people ever on reality TV, but she's REALLY an amazing model, check her out at a recent ANTM shoot

HOT right...well, Please let me take this opportunity to retract my previous statements about the lovely lady and say that she BETTER take home the title this season because if Jade wins, I'm going to have to interview her and basically I don't want to talk to that C U Next Tuesday

Since you been born

KellyClarkson
Originally uploaded by sbmpx1.

I can't believe I almost missed it!!!! April 24, 1982 was the day Kelly Clarkson was born in Fort Worth, Texas.

Happy Birthday future wife #2

(#1 is Rachel McAdams, yum)

Tact, thy name ist Brent

A pocket full of Posey

How can I express how much I adore Ms. Parker Posey? She made us laugh till it hurt in the Christopher Guest oeuvre. She made us cringe in Blade: Trinity and made us horrified to go back to high school in Dazed and Confused. And this summer she stars as Kitty Kowalski, Lex Luthor's moll in Superman Returns! So here's a cheers to the indie darlings that make Hollywood stand up and take notice! And I for one, CAN NOT wait to see the magic that is Christopher Guests next movie, For Your Consideration--a satirical look at Hollywood's award season.

REEF SANDALS 2002-2006

After a tough battle with an uneven sidewalk, Jarett Wieselman's Reef Sandals were laid to rest on Sunday April 16th. "This will forever be known as the day my favorite shoes were destroyed by poor sidewalk paving," Wieselman cried through the tears. He added, "Why do bad things happen to good shoes?" The incident was made all the more upsetting for Jarett when he was forced to walk home barefoot seeing as the shoes were left in an unusable state. Adding insult to serious injury, a bystander uttered upon seeing Wieselman sulking down 14th street barefoot, "EW! That dude is barefoot!" Mr. Wieselman would like to take this opportunity to apologize to the woman for responding to her statement with, "Yeah, gross, right! Well my sandal broke so unless you want to carry me back to my house keep your fucking opinions to yourself." He was speaking from a place of anger and frustration. In lieu of a memorial service Jarett spent Sunday mourning at the movies and is currently accepting contributions to his "Buy me new Reef's" fund--or if you're quite giving he is a size 12.

Puts the sick in creamsicle

There are so many things wrong with this picture, i don't even know where to begin......



I mean, on a basic level, no ad featuring children bending over should have the word "lickable" anywhere in the copy, actually, strike that, no ad should feature children bending over TOWARDS the camera EVER!!!! Unless it's for use in Michael Jackson's molestation case. Additionally, what are they saying is lickable? It can't be the ice pop (yes this is an ad for Breyers Creamsicles) because the pop doesn't appear anywhere in the ad. So are they saying the two young girls, who are creepily dressed up like creamsicles, are the lickable ones?!?!? The girl on the right seems to be licking her knee--is it her knees you should be licking? but if that's the case then why are they bent over, flaunting their little tushies (and yes, with children under 10, tushie is the most un-pedophile word possible to use)

Bottom Line: This ad was created by pervs!!!!! I don't think I will ever be able to enjoy a creamsicle again

They also act as flippers

You KNOW he peed in his owners shoes that night

Look over there! (runs away when you turn your head)

I have been a long time supporter of all things Anti-Bush and this just made me smile. It is my belief that history will look back at the last 8 years and fully acknowledge that Bush, Cheney and the whole motley crew were the beginning of the end of America's leadership of the world...which was a very American way of thinking to begin with. How can you be the leader of something that is in fact, ineffable? Anyway, I also loooooorve that I can now post videos on my blog, they're like moving photographs!

In the dictionary under redundant it says, "see redundant"

Oh Vin, Vin, Vin--nobody thinks you're very intelligent and now we know that you're not that interesting either

David Spade gives Vin a pounding...unfortunately for Vin it's probably not the kind he'd prefer

I wish I knew how to quit you

Not so much

It was a simple idea, take a cheap bus to Washington DC.....simple in theory.

After breaking down on the side of the New Jersey Turnpike i can say without doubt that you should not leave the driving to Greyhound.....you should not give them your hard earned money.

New Slogan for Greyhound: Leave the driving to us.....and then have someone waiting to pick you up on the side of the highway because we're going to break down and have a completely ignorant driver who doesn't know how to even get the luggage doors open so you're sitting in the cold!!!!!!!!!!!

Catchy, no?

Close up shop

Oh Shazza...you've been wined and dined but no one stayed the night. Like a cheap hooker, you didn't leave America wanting more--but we are heading to the drug store to buy some Penicillin! Sharon Stone's hotly (mostly by her) anticipated return to cinema "greatness" pretty much lied on it's back all weekend, much like the aging star herself, and was swiftly iced by the CG-trickery of Ice Age: The Meltdown. (which FYI, was also the same era as her last hit movie)

I mean, even Helen Keller could see this one coming. An aging seductress comes out of a retirement that no one was particularly sad about, to bring down all the assholes and jerks who treated her like shit and didn't give her any respect.....and makes Basic Instinct 2. From what I hear--yes that's right dear readers, I didn't pony up to see this shit, even i have standards (sort of)--the film is basically a re-hash of the original (sans crotch shot) but seems to be missing the spirit of the first, the sense of newness that it had in 1992 and the aforementioned crotch shot. Was the first movie good? Sure. A classic? Not so much. Calling for a sequel? Hell-to-the-no!

So Sharon, thanks for playing, we have some lovely consolation prizes for you (which will mostly consist of the 2007 Razzies) and Shar.....don't let the door hit you where the good lord split you--and after the first movie, we ALL know where that is!