Sopranos in 7 minutes

Very excited for the final Soprano episodes to start and this was the perfect refresher course

It's like a heaven sandwich

I don't know how many people know this, but as a youngster I was obsessed with Batman. The movies, the animated series, the complexity of the character. I just dug it all. I loved Burton's vision, loathed Schumacher’s versions and rekindled my passion with Nolan's reboot.

Everyone’s already heard that The Joker will be the main villain in the sequel, The Dark Knight, and any Bat-fan worth his salt knows that The Joker's main squeeze is the irrepressible Harley Quinn, one of my favorite Bat characters in existence. But it's a tough role to play. Yes, Harley’s a psychotic lunatic, however she is in total control of her lunacy and that's a tough line to straddle. Well, today comes word that the woman stepping into the red and black jumpsuit (please keep this look!) might very well be Sarah Michelle Gellar!

This is a brilliant move for SMG for the following reasons. Sarah is a great actress but lately, the schlock that she's been starring in (Grudge, The Return, Scooby-Doo) does not do her justice. In fact, the last great role she had was in Cruel Intentions and Harley Quinn would tap in to a bit of the bitchiness that made her character Catherine so fantastic in that film. Additionally, playing the villain is always better than playing the standard girlfriend role, which one would assume SMG would be more inclined to play. So kudos to her for making the daring choice and please let this rumor turn out to be true!

Scents and scents ability (to make me ill)

OK, now I know the universe is messing with me. I have made my feelings about eating eggs in public very well known. Bottom line: I don't like it. It makes me sick. You make me sick, egg eaters! If you aren't familiar with what I am referring to, please reference this: (http://jarettsramble.blogspot.com/2007/02/there-are-no-eggs-in-heaven.html)

Well, apparently karma is a boomerang because I got seriously schooled today when I went to MSNBC to do a taping on American Idol. I arrived and was walked into the makeup room (deal with it) and was escorted to a chair. I sat down and met the woman who would be doing my makeup, Tanya. She was perfectly nice and pleasant and did a great job with my foundation, if I say so myself. But there was something about her I just didn't like...but I couldn't put my finger on it and then it hit me like a knee to the groin, her fingers smelled like eggs!

She has obviously indulged in some huevos earlier and hadn't fully washed the smell off of her fingers, which were currently applying base right under my nostrils, in prime smelling space. It was awful, I wanted to gag and die, but I couldn't, I had to go on live TV after all. Considering she and I had built a nice rapport in the 2 minutes we'd known one another, I contemplated asking if she’d eaten an egg for lunch. But right as I was about to broach the subject I thought, what if she hadn't eaten an egg, what if she just smelled. How mortifying would that be, not for her, but for me! Nobody likes to be the one to point out that someone else smells, especially not to their face. Sure you say it behind their back (or on your blog) but never to their face. So I just tried to breathe through my mouth as much as possible. And that's how I accidentally licked her finger.

A glimpse into her future

It was revealed this week that Anna Nicole Smith was on 9 different prescription medications at the time of her death. It is also rumored that she was druggin' it up during her pregnancy with DaniLynn (sweet name btw).

If that's true, will the grown-up DaniLynn look less like her mother, and more like this?

Just asking

Beauty queen drop-out

Tara Conner, the "disgraced" beauty queen passed the torch, er, crown, on to the next Miss USA this past week. I mean how lucky can one girl get? Chelsea Cooley (Miss Kentucky) gets to follow in the coke-stained footsteps of Tara, which is pretty sweet considering that she could basically be photographed at a donkey show with Ron Jeremy and it wouldn't get raked over the coals like Tara did. You know Tara is absolutely thrilled to be done with this charade so she can now go back to her booze-filled days and drug-induced nights. And hey, think of the life lessons Tara has to pass on now.


Tara: "Congrats! Now listen, the first rule of wearing this crown is don't anger Donald Trump, he will seriously make your life a living hell."


Tara: "Oh please, I am such a better crier. Remember my tear-filled apology? Man, I'm a good actress."


Tara: Whatever you do, don't get caught blowing lines. It will put a major damper on your year.

Things I didn't need to know

Along with the list of nine drugs found in her system, Anna Nicole Smith's autopsy report also bizarrely reveals that her "anus is unremarkable."

It puts the lotion on its skin

Wow, Star Jones looks great--congrats on the weight loss too, job well done. I mean, she just turned 44 on Saturday and she has the skin of a 22-year-old! Oh,and in completely unrelated news, this 22-year-old was murdered last week....hey, wait a second.........

I got a bad case of loving Lude's

When I was a child I discovered that while Ludens Cherry Cough Drops did little to cure my colds they tasted absolutely delicious; like candy. So I would always ask my parents to buy them for me, which they did because I am so their golden boy. But over the years I weaned myself off of the little red drops of heaven. Unfortunately my cough drop addiction has reared its ugly head again.

Last week I had some strep-like virus which led to me eating nothing but Halls Honey-Lemon cough drops for 5 days straight and now I can't stop. I picked up the value pack of 80 delectable drops three days ago and am pretty close to polishing it off. Now it is absolutely fine to eat this many when you're legitimately sick, but I am not….although some might consider eating 75 cough drops in 3 days when you're not under the weather legitimately sick.

Those Brits have the cleverest lines

Robbie Williams is out of rehab and already breakin' hearts in Los Angeles.

TMZ spotted the British pop star locking lips with an unknown brunette inside Boulevard 3 last night, and then just minutes later, hitting on a stacked blonde outside the club.

A recently rehabbed Robbie also proclaimed, "I'm almost off all drugs," before telling the blonde, "I like this country ... not as much as I like your breasts though."

I am totally going to start using that!

All gussied up

Mandy Moore can look really hot when she wants to. Who'd have thought that the little girl who so poorly sang "Candy" would end up being a semi-decent actress? And all she needed was a little plastic surgery to get the job done! (check the nose)

A TV milestone

Into every generation a girl is born. She alone must stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is THE SLAYER.

March 10, 1997

That was the day that so many things changed for me. I was visiting my grandparents in Florida and was lying in bed and this show happened to come on some network called The WB. The show had the same name as a terrible movie that came out a couple of years earlier so I almost didn't watch. Thank god I did.

The show was Buffy The Vampire Slayer and it forever changed the landscape of female driven shows on television. Without Buffy, there would be no Alias or Veronica Mars. And as one of the first shows to embrace the sci-fi serial format, it was also the granddaddy to Lost and Heroes.

But more importantly it finally felt like there was a show on TV that didn’t pander. Creator Joss Whedon and Co treated the viewers like the intellectuals they were. Crackling dialogue leapt off the screen and became part of many viewers daily vernacular. BTVS deftly jumped between comedy, drama, horror, romance, sci-fi and slapstick with nary a loose thread.

And if it weren’t for the show, I would have never met one of the most important people in my life (you know who you are).

On the tenth anniversary of the premiere, I say thank you to Joss, Marti, Sarah, Alyson, Brendan, Nicholas, Anthony, Charisma, Emma, James, Eliza, Juliette, Mark, and people like me, who kept the show on for seven years and never cared that we were often more concerned with the trials and tribulations of The Scooby Gang and their featured creature of the week than we were with our own lives.

Awesome "real news" story of the week

Humans caught 'crabs' from gorillas

Humans caught pubic lice, aka "the crabs," from gorillas roughly three million years ago, scientists now report. Rather than close encounters of the intimate kind, researchers explained humans most likely got the lice, which most commonly live in pubic hair, from sleeping in gorilla nests or eating the apes. "It certainly wouldn't have to be what many people are going to immediately assume it might have been, and that is sexual intercourse occurring between humans and gorillas," explained researcher David Reed of the Florida Museum of Natural History. "Instead of something sordid, it could easily have stemmed from an activity that was considerably more tame."

Right. Absolutely true. If by "an activity that was considerably more tame" you mean teabagging

iTunes throws a lame party

so you know how on iTunes there is a Party Shuffle option, and if you click on it there are randomly generated lists of 16-ish songs. Well my party shuffle is kinda a boring drinking buddy. I can't fathom what group of revelers would want to rock out to Sublime's Doin' Time, immediately followed by Norah Jones' Don't Know Why. It would be like if a drug dealer hung out with my grandparents. Actually, that would be kind of a kickin' party.

iTunes is smarter than I thought. iTunes knows all. iTunes is listening to this conversation. abort

Mother Nature is a cocktease

That frigid bitch is at it again! Mother Nature gave Americans an all-too brief encounter with warm weather this past weekend--I was actually hot on Sunday. But after a snowstorm on Tuesday, I awoke to a flurry of flurries this morning and that's when I realized that Mama Nature is just toying with us. She's dangling Spring in front of our faces the way you eat a pretzel in front of caged animals in the zoo. I know March is said to "come in like a lion and out like a lamb", but this is just ridiculous.

I haven't felt this misled by a lady since The Crying Game

Even he's confused

Emoticons are those little yellow balls of heaven that we use while IM-ing at work when we're not supposed to be. But here's my question, when does this little guy ever apply to conversation?


Would a convo have to go like this to utilize it?

Me: So what did you do last night?
You: Oh man, I totally ate some money
Me: Really?
You:

Would you like to know your future?

Every now and then I like to remind myself, and the interweb at large, that I have special abilities. Now, I'm not like one of those freaks on Heroes; I can't fly or make ATM's spit out $100 bills, but I am gifted.

I discovered my talent about 5 years ago after I got my license. It was just an ordinary day but it was a day that changed my life forever.

I was driving in my car and was thinking about that Eagle Eye Cherry song, Save Tonight. It was really popular my senior year in High School but I hadn't heard it in years. I was trying very hard to remember this one particular lyric when the song came blasting on my radio. It was such a weird feeling, as if I had made it come on by sheer will.

While this was the first time I willed a song to come on, it was by no means the last.

The most recent was this morning when I put my iPod on shuffle and Come Closer by Jem came on. I immediately wished I had put on Set the Fire to the Third Bar by Snow Patrol instead. So I skipped ahead and wouldn't you know it, out of over 1,000 songs my iPod holds that was the song that popped up. Now I am sure there is some scientific explanation that you will provide to explain away my gifted-ness, but at the end of the day, I can use my mental powers to produce music and you can't.

She needs more than rehab

HRC's Joe Solmonese issued this statement: "To interject this word into American political discourse is a vile and disgusting way to sink the debate to a new, all-time low. Make no doubt about it, these remarks go directly against what our Founding Fathers intended and have no place on the schoolyard, much less our country’s political arena. It is clear that some in the Republican Party plan to run in 2008 the same way they did in 2004, by using discrimination to divide the country and rally their base. But, 2008 is not 2004, and this time the politics of fear and smear will not work. The American people are tired of those who would rather divide than unite."

Solmonese also called on Republicans to come forward and condemn Coulter's hate speech:

“We demand that every single Presidential candidate in attendance at this conference, along with Vice President Cheney stand up and publicly condemn this type of gutter-style politics. If not, then their silence will be deafening to the vast majority of Americans who believe this type of language belongs no where near the discussions about the future of our country."

That is shocking

A new study conducted by The Harvard Medical School has concluded that heavy television viewing makes young kids fat. In fact, for every one hour increase in TV viewing per day, children consumed 46 additional calories, which over time leads to childhood obesity.

I don't know what their talking about, I watched tons of TV as a kid and was no worse for the wear!