Hola awesome

Portugal is jumping on the Heroes bandwagon and premiering a Spanish version of NBC's hit, called Caminhos do Coração (Ways of the Heart)

I am totally going to have to learn a second language, because if the show is half as good as the promos are, we are in for a treat. Or shall I say, we are in for a convite

Ready for a Rainn-aissance?

While I love Steve Carrell and John Krasinski, it's really nice to see Rainn Wilson getting some notice too. Last year he got to take the reigns of SNL and now comes word that a hilarious sounding script he co-wrote was just purchased as a starring vehicle for him.

Per Reuters:
Universal Pictures has picked up comedy "Renaissance Men" penned by actors Rainn Wilson an Matt Ross. The story follows two down-and-out community theater actors who think they've accidentally killed a co-star. In a panic, they go on the lam and hide out in a Renaissance fair.

I can't wait to see Rainn all decked out in ye olde leather sillyness. But even more squealworthy is his second script which was also recently snapped up:

Wilson is also writing "Bonzai Shadowhands," a ninja comedy that Jason Reitman will direct for Fox Searchlight.

A Ninja comedy starring Rainn, directed by Thank You For Smoking's Jason Reitman? That just gave me a cinematic hard-on

Hummers for a dollar!

Sienna Miller may have fucked half of Hollywood, but she wants to you toknow Rhys Ifans (Spike from Notting Hill) is NOT one of those men!

She told This Is London: "Rhys and I are just friends, we've known each other for years, we are definitely not sleeping together. He's crashing on my couch because his boat is flooded and I'm being the good samaritan and providing him with a roof over his head." Miller said that she is tired of people presuming she is sleeping around with every man she is spotted with. The actress commented: "I'm always hearing things about myself and different men, but it's not true. Is my nickname Sleeparound Sienna or something?"

Two things:
1) His boat is flooded? Give me a break! "My ark has a leak" is the oldest excuse in the book!
2) And for the record, your nickname isn't 'Sleeparound Sienna' it's Sluttienna, duh!

Best News Ever!

Break out the spandex, dust off The Wall and oil up The Handbikes because the granddaddy of reality competitions is returning to TV with all new episodes: AMERICAN GLADIATORS!

Per Variety:
NBC will bring back the 90s cult hit "American Gladiators" as a midseason replacement. The network will update the show with new technology and twists.

Fingers crossed that NBC doesn't update the show too much, because with the exception of some of the most mullet-riffic hairstyles that ever graced the boob tube, Gladiators really stands the test of time. Here's hoping the new generations of Laces, Nitros, Blazes, Towers, Hawks and Diamonds will continue to slip into those ridiculous spandex unitards, giving a new generation of sexually questioning youths something purdy to ogle.

Oh, and bring back Larry Csonka too!

Rock on K. Hud

"When someone tells me not to have a cigarette, I want to throw them over the balcony."
-Kate Hudson apparently took a role in '200 Cigarettes' because she mistook the title for her salary

Making Monday sparkle

KRISTEN BELL IS COMING BACK TO TV!!!!

After rumors that she might join the cast of Lost, Kristen has instead signed up for a multi-episode arc on my other favorite show, Heroes!!!

Per Variety:
Bell will make her first “Heroes” appearance in October. She’ll play Elle, a character described as a sexy, mysterious young lady who has ties to the supposed death of Peter, H.R.G.’s past and the future of Claire. Elle will kick off her arc by committing a serious crime, though it’s unclear whether she’s good or bad.

“This was not easy to pull off,” said “Heroes” creator-exec producer Tim Kring. “But since we’re an ensemble show, with many arcs playing out through the year, we found a way to jump into a small window in (Bell’s) schedule.”

Universal Media Studios prexy Katherine Pope also hinted that landing Bell wasn't easy, noting that "many studios (were) chasing her in both film and TV" and that she was happy that Bell "chose to star in our show."

TV just got a whole lot sassier!

There better be a sex scene!

Hollywood seems to reading my mind lately. I love Camilla Belle, although I think I am more enamored with her eyebrows, and my feelings about Chris Evans are pretty self explanatory. Needless to say, I am already queuing up for this:

Chris Evans and Camilla Belle are set to star in the supernatural thriller "Push". The story revolves around a group of young American ex-pats with telekinetic and clairvoyant abilities who hide from a U.S. government agency in Hong Kong. They must use their different talents and band together to try to escape the control of the division.

And as if those two sex-bots weren't enough, my DakFan has been thrown in for good measure!

Dirty mouth?

Anne Hathaway loves a nip


But not as much as she loves a knob

Things that make me giggle

Tom Kruse the Inventor and President of Hoveround Power Chairs a.k.a Old People Mobiles.

That couch jumper is so versatile! Acting! Inventing! Brain-washing!

Bad Idea Jeans

The fourth film in the Jurassic Park series will reportedly feature Dinosaurs that have been outfitted with weapons by the US Government, presumably for battle purposes. Now, not only is this a terrible idea, especially for a film that is produced by the genius of Steven Spielberg, but didn't someone else already try something similar?


Oh yes!

Easy money

It was announced today that Channing Tatum (Step Up) and Columbus Short (Stomp the Yard) are teaming for an untitled buddy action film, but the plot line is being kept under wraps.

What do you want to wager that there will be a moment in the movie when they have to step up and stomp the yard with a slammin' dance number in order to save their butts.

Also, what would you like to bet that I will see it opening weekend!

A star for a star

Michelle finally got a Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame! I am telling you, with 'Hairspray', the phenominal 'Stardust' and the Paul Rudd co-starring 'I Could Never Be Your Woman', 2007 is officially the Year of Pfeiffer!!!!!!

Tom was bummed that just getting in the water made Suri cry....

because he was about to swim her over to the jet ski

Hunk of beef between two slices of white bread

This is the hottest movie sandwich since Meg Ryan faux-orgasmed over a corned beef on rye

You lost me at "army of zombie clowns"

Coming soon to a Blockbuster near you, my worst nightmare:

Dead Clowns
Synopsis: The residents of Port Emmett prepare for a hurricane that will churn up a 50-year-old secret, awakening an army of zombie clowns. Left to die after a circus train accident, the clowns rise from their muddy graves to get revenge. The guilty can run, but they can't hide from the truth … or the undead.

I knew it! Laugh all you want, but I have been preparing a "zombie clown survival kit" for years. The contents: one big, floppy shoe that conceals a knife, a red nose that emits tear gas when squeezed, an acid-squirting lapel flower, and a pie that when smooshed in your face becomes as hard as cement. I will beat them at their own game!

(editors note: an attempt to find a picture to accompany this story lasted 3 seconds)