Susie needs a hobby

OK, I understand that my job probably dictates the receiving of numerous female-skewing pitches, but has she EVER read my magazine? Where exactly does she think we'd cover a story about Sanitary Napkin disposal?

Subject: How to Bury 45 Billion Pads

Hi editor,

How big of a hole would you have to dig to bury 45 billion sanitary pads?

According to feminine care expert Susie Hewson, every year women use over 45 billion sanitary pads, which are non-biodegradable, that get disposed and sit somewhere for years on end. If you place 45 billion pads end to end they would stretch all the way to the sun, and if you tried to bury them you would have to dig a hole 300 feet deep and 300 feet wide.
In 1989 Hewson developed a feminine hygiene product for women who are chemically sensitive, suffer from skin allergies and irritations, and who are environmentally conscious. Hewson is a world renowned expert on feminine care products and the potential harm they present to women and the environment. Her company, Natracare, makes feminine products that are free of additives, synthetic materials, plastics, and other harmful chemicals and synthetics, and they are the only truly biodegradable products on the market. Pollution is on the rise and feminine care products’ contribution is alarmingly high. With Hewson’s expertise at the foundation, Natracare provides every woman with a feminine care choice that will let her stand up for her health and do her part to help save the world we live in.

Susie Hewson will be in town on Wednesday, October 10, 2006 and would enjoy meeting with you to discuss the impact feminine care products are having on women and the environment.

Um....yeah, what a weird professional focus. Don't forget your santiary napkin hole.....ew, that is just about the grossest sentence i've ever accidentally written!