Live blogging my day
The following events take place between 7:30 am and 9: 30pm. All events occur in real time.
Since today will be one of the longest days of my life, I am taking a cue from 24 and Jack Bauer, and keeping you apprised of all the events that I deem noteworthy.....and less than noteworthy.
7:50-I've arrived at the office, thanks to Stellan, my Russian car driver. He likes to speak Russian over his motorola Blue Tooth while I nap in the back.
8:30-I've just done my first of two radio shows this morning--talked about Britney Spears and Pam Anderson. I said Britney puts the "ass" in "class"......can you say ass on the radio?? FCC, come and get it!
8:45-I contemplate eating the bagel I picked up at Bagel Stix this morning....I decide to have a little will power and eat it after my next radio interview.
9:10-Just finished the second radio interview, didn't curse during this one, I'm scared of the FCC now, I am living in a state of fear, much like Janet Jackson does I'd imagine....although that probably has more to do with her father than anything else.
10:30--Just got out of my morning staff meeting--found out lots of juicy tidbits about the peeps we are covering in the magazine this week--including who Nicole Richie was making out with this weekend....for more pick up the newest issue of InTouch weekly, on stands Wednesday (hehe)
10:45-Just regaled my co-workers with my tales of headbutting strangers in Time Square this weekend.....sometimes you just gotta clear a path people!
11-Ah, a 15 minute conversation about The Real World: Denver. Is it just me, or aren't these kids the craziest housemates since Las Vegas? I mean Alex has already hooked up with Colie, who is single-handedly redefining low self-esteem, and Jen, who lets face it, is just a big ho. I mean who says, "and I'm like, 'oh my god, i'm having sex"' COME ON GIRL! Get your act together. And my co-workers and I are in agreement that we loved Davis, the gay southern baptist until we see that next week he uses the N-word...Kramer's influence has extended to the MTV generation kiddies! watch out!
11:10--Ew, I do not want to hear about Rosie O'Donnell's colonoscopy. Bitch, you aren't Katie Couric--at least we didn't have to see Rosie's O'Colon
11:26--The Killers' When you were young is playing on my Virgin Internet Radio, i dunno, i had high hopes for their new album, but it's just not as good as the electro-synth-goodness of the first album. PS--Shave that LAME stash Brandon Flowers
11:28-my assistant just brought my supplies, she's the best in the biz man--plus, she loves the same crappy TV I do!
11:34-George Clooney's pig, Max, has passed away at the ripe ol' age of 18 and someone in my office makes this "joke"
"Well, I guess George is having bacon for dinner" That's just wrong on so many levels lady!!
11:38-a coworker just brought me soap and toothpaste as a thank you for a DVD I gave her last week--forget sexy, I'm bringing bartering back, yea!
11:50-Ah, a break from the Brit pop on my internet radio--a little Stones' Paint it Black--is it just me or have the Rolling Stone become less of a band and more of joke as they keep aging in the same leather pants they had in 76' and Keith Richards falls out of coconut tress????
11:52-Oh, i just realized that I should probably point out to some friends that I am wearing my blue Puma track jacket today--and I LOVE IT NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY!!!!
12:07-went to pee and there was a guy in the stall talking on his cell phone, and as if that wasn't bad enough he told then dude on the other end of the phone, "nah, it's cool, i'm just taking a shit" For the record: No dude, it's not cool.
12:33-strange rumor of the day: A "reimagining" of the Short Circuit film series, Johnny 5 is (unfortunately) alive!
12:44-There is a girl who works in my building that Jaime and I call, "Neopolitan" because her hair is the colors of Neopolitan ice cream--brown at the roots, white in the middle and pink on bottom.....what "look" is she really going for? do you think she asked her hair dresser to make her look "delicious"?
12:58-To address the question, "You have an assistant?" The answer is yes. She works for my department and is the Fashion and Beauty assistant. FYI--I am extremely important and have an office too!!!
1:06-I am now just realizing how late I might be here tonight, which blows aside from the obivous reasons because tonight is the fall finale of HEROES and I am dying to know which Hero is going to be killed this evening--my money is on Niki's husband, the dude who can walk through walls, cuz last time we saw him, there was a rifle trained on his skull.....although something tells me that he'll hear the gunshot, go all clear and the bullet will pass right through him.....into Mika perhaps? Nah, they don't kill kids on TV. Ok, so either D.L. or The Haitian who can suppress people from using their powers in his vicinity. Truthfully, I'd love for Nathan to get killed, soooooooo not into his character, but me thinks he's gunna go all evil at some point and force Peter to kill him.....that would be fraktastic!
1:09-Ordered Pad Thai for lunch, yummers!
1:15-I like the word INTERLOPER--not what it means, i like how it sounds
1:31-The Thai place isn't open--stupid New Jersey! But K.T. Tunstall (not Turnstall as I learned) is on my radio--I really like her voice
1:42-My coworker got a talking Stewie Griffin pen, I want one! "You look like Snoopy and it makes me smile"
1:49-Just listened to J.Lo's new Spanish single, Que teramo, or Que Sedilla, or something like that....I dont know why but Spanish music just doesn't work for me. I am not saying that there's no place for it, because 87% of the population is Spanish speaking, or will be next year or something astronomical like that. It just doesn't connect with me which is odd because i am half Spanish, i can get down with my roots and do a mean flamenco, but having said that, I like my J.Lo like I like my jello, Raspberry Flavored....and yes, that made NO SENSE--it's getting to be that time kiddies, I've been at this for a couple of hours and am loving it, like McDonalds, but here marks the moment of incoherant rambling--PREPARE YOURSELF!
2pm--LESBO ALERT!!!!!! I just watched my friend Jaime check out another female co-worker, Amanda, as we walked by. When I called her on it, she replied, "No, I was just looking at her pants. I am in the market for some high-waisted denim trousers and I wanted to see if that's what hers were." While I'm not sure whether or not Amanda's pants were in fact high-wsited denim trousers, I can say with certainty that Jaime seems to be in the process of coming out of the closet....but it's still to be seen what kind of pants she'll be sporting once she emerges.
2:05--"For once I want to be the car crash, not always just the traffic jam" A line from Snow Patrol's Headlights on Dark Roads--I was reminded of this because I saw an ambulence pass by with it's sirens on, and I always hate when you're behind an ambulence that has sirens a-blaring and then they are turned off......never a good sign. Another bad sign, "Beware of Blind Pedestrians"
2:18-Random thought: In publishing, a sequence of periods that connects two thoughts are called Ellipses but how does one write Ellipses in when typing in Braille?
3:05-Have you ever eated food out of spite? cuz i just did--i spite the food and i ate it to be cruel....although i don't think that's logical in any way whatsoever
3:26-I didn't need this information Elijah--"The man sweats a lot.He actually comes with two T-shirts extra, so he'll
work for, like, a couple of hours, work up a sweat, take off the T-shirt midway through, put on another one, get back to work again." ELIJAH WOOD was stunned by hirsute HAPPY FEET co-star ROBIN WILLIAMS' profuse sweating.
3:50-Aw yea! New Candle up in my office!!!!! Say hello to my terry robe scented candle--don't know why it's called that, but it smells AMAZING!
5:10-Ok, things are starting to get crazy here, this might be my last post.....but who knows, things here change faster than Britney Spears' sexual preference!
9:42-It's 9:42, do you know where your children are? if you're my father, the answer is, still at work, cranking away on two Billboard Music Award Fashion spreads.....I hope to have tomorrow off
....Back with more soon!
Since today will be one of the longest days of my life, I am taking a cue from 24 and Jack Bauer, and keeping you apprised of all the events that I deem noteworthy.....and less than noteworthy.
7:50-I've arrived at the office, thanks to Stellan, my Russian car driver. He likes to speak Russian over his motorola Blue Tooth while I nap in the back.
8:30-I've just done my first of two radio shows this morning--talked about Britney Spears and Pam Anderson. I said Britney puts the "ass" in "class"......can you say ass on the radio?? FCC, come and get it!
8:45-I contemplate eating the bagel I picked up at Bagel Stix this morning....I decide to have a little will power and eat it after my next radio interview.
9:10-Just finished the second radio interview, didn't curse during this one, I'm scared of the FCC now, I am living in a state of fear, much like Janet Jackson does I'd imagine....although that probably has more to do with her father than anything else.
10:30--Just got out of my morning staff meeting--found out lots of juicy tidbits about the peeps we are covering in the magazine this week--including who Nicole Richie was making out with this weekend....for more pick up the newest issue of InTouch weekly, on stands Wednesday (hehe)
10:45-Just regaled my co-workers with my tales of headbutting strangers in Time Square this weekend.....sometimes you just gotta clear a path people!
11-Ah, a 15 minute conversation about The Real World: Denver. Is it just me, or aren't these kids the craziest housemates since Las Vegas? I mean Alex has already hooked up with Colie, who is single-handedly redefining low self-esteem, and Jen, who lets face it, is just a big ho. I mean who says, "and I'm like, 'oh my god, i'm having sex"' COME ON GIRL! Get your act together. And my co-workers and I are in agreement that we loved Davis, the gay southern baptist until we see that next week he uses the N-word...Kramer's influence has extended to the MTV generation kiddies! watch out!
11:10--Ew, I do not want to hear about Rosie O'Donnell's colonoscopy. Bitch, you aren't Katie Couric--at least we didn't have to see Rosie's O'Colon
11:26--The Killers' When you were young is playing on my Virgin Internet Radio, i dunno, i had high hopes for their new album, but it's just not as good as the electro-synth-goodness of the first album. PS--Shave that LAME stash Brandon Flowers
11:28-my assistant just brought my supplies, she's the best in the biz man--plus, she loves the same crappy TV I do!
11:34-George Clooney's pig, Max, has passed away at the ripe ol' age of 18 and someone in my office makes this "joke"
"Well, I guess George is having bacon for dinner" That's just wrong on so many levels lady!!
11:38-a coworker just brought me soap and toothpaste as a thank you for a DVD I gave her last week--forget sexy, I'm bringing bartering back, yea!
11:50-Ah, a break from the Brit pop on my internet radio--a little Stones' Paint it Black--is it just me or have the Rolling Stone become less of a band and more of joke as they keep aging in the same leather pants they had in 76' and Keith Richards falls out of coconut tress????
11:52-Oh, i just realized that I should probably point out to some friends that I am wearing my blue Puma track jacket today--and I LOVE IT NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY!!!!
12:07-went to pee and there was a guy in the stall talking on his cell phone, and as if that wasn't bad enough he told then dude on the other end of the phone, "nah, it's cool, i'm just taking a shit" For the record: No dude, it's not cool.
12:33-strange rumor of the day: A "reimagining" of the Short Circuit film series, Johnny 5 is (unfortunately) alive!
12:44-There is a girl who works in my building that Jaime and I call, "Neopolitan" because her hair is the colors of Neopolitan ice cream--brown at the roots, white in the middle and pink on bottom.....what "look" is she really going for? do you think she asked her hair dresser to make her look "delicious"?
12:58-To address the question, "You have an assistant?" The answer is yes. She works for my department and is the Fashion and Beauty assistant. FYI--I am extremely important and have an office too!!!
1:06-I am now just realizing how late I might be here tonight, which blows aside from the obivous reasons because tonight is the fall finale of HEROES and I am dying to know which Hero is going to be killed this evening--my money is on Niki's husband, the dude who can walk through walls, cuz last time we saw him, there was a rifle trained on his skull.....although something tells me that he'll hear the gunshot, go all clear and the bullet will pass right through him.....into Mika perhaps? Nah, they don't kill kids on TV. Ok, so either D.L. or The Haitian who can suppress people from using their powers in his vicinity. Truthfully, I'd love for Nathan to get killed, soooooooo not into his character, but me thinks he's gunna go all evil at some point and force Peter to kill him.....that would be fraktastic!
1:09-Ordered Pad Thai for lunch, yummers!
1:15-I like the word INTERLOPER--not what it means, i like how it sounds
1:31-The Thai place isn't open--stupid New Jersey! But K.T. Tunstall (not Turnstall as I learned) is on my radio--I really like her voice
1:42-My coworker got a talking Stewie Griffin pen, I want one! "You look like Snoopy and it makes me smile"
1:49-Just listened to J.Lo's new Spanish single, Que teramo, or Que Sedilla, or something like that....I dont know why but Spanish music just doesn't work for me. I am not saying that there's no place for it, because 87% of the population is Spanish speaking, or will be next year or something astronomical like that. It just doesn't connect with me which is odd because i am half Spanish, i can get down with my roots and do a mean flamenco, but having said that, I like my J.Lo like I like my jello, Raspberry Flavored....and yes, that made NO SENSE--it's getting to be that time kiddies, I've been at this for a couple of hours and am loving it, like McDonalds, but here marks the moment of incoherant rambling--PREPARE YOURSELF!
2pm--LESBO ALERT!!!!!! I just watched my friend Jaime check out another female co-worker, Amanda, as we walked by. When I called her on it, she replied, "No, I was just looking at her pants. I am in the market for some high-waisted denim trousers and I wanted to see if that's what hers were." While I'm not sure whether or not Amanda's pants were in fact high-wsited denim trousers, I can say with certainty that Jaime seems to be in the process of coming out of the closet....but it's still to be seen what kind of pants she'll be sporting once she emerges.
2:05--"For once I want to be the car crash, not always just the traffic jam" A line from Snow Patrol's Headlights on Dark Roads--I was reminded of this because I saw an ambulence pass by with it's sirens on, and I always hate when you're behind an ambulence that has sirens a-blaring and then they are turned off......never a good sign. Another bad sign, "Beware of Blind Pedestrians"
2:18-Random thought: In publishing, a sequence of periods that connects two thoughts are called Ellipses but how does one write Ellipses in when typing in Braille?
3:05-Have you ever eated food out of spite? cuz i just did--i spite the food and i ate it to be cruel....although i don't think that's logical in any way whatsoever
3:26-I didn't need this information Elijah--"The man sweats a lot.He actually comes with two T-shirts extra, so he'll
work for, like, a couple of hours, work up a sweat, take off the T-shirt midway through, put on another one, get back to work again." ELIJAH WOOD was stunned by hirsute HAPPY FEET co-star ROBIN WILLIAMS' profuse sweating.
3:50-Aw yea! New Candle up in my office!!!!! Say hello to my terry robe scented candle--don't know why it's called that, but it smells AMAZING!
5:10-Ok, things are starting to get crazy here, this might be my last post.....but who knows, things here change faster than Britney Spears' sexual preference!
9:42-It's 9:42, do you know where your children are? if you're my father, the answer is, still at work, cranking away on two Billboard Music Award Fashion spreads.....I hope to have tomorrow off
....Back with more soon!
posted by Jwise @ 8:10 AM
6 Comments:
At 8:40 AM,
Unknown said…
YOU have an assistant?!
At 8:44 AM,
HED said…
haha I was thinking the same thing!!
At 8:50 AM,
HED said…
haha I was thinking the same thing!!1!
At 5:46 PM,
HED said…
Weird. I so did not post that twice. Someone must have hijacked my blogger account. I'm glad you are wearing your track jacket, as you have one for each day of the week. Now I know that the blue and black one = Monday. Oh and the cat says hello.
At 7:05 PM,
HED said…
Oh and now the cat is pissed because I stepped on his tail.
At 8:11 AM,
amhessio said…
track jackets are the new red.
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